We see it everyday. Tweets, posts, stories, pictures, etc. It’s so motivational, isn’t it? Seeing all of these different people working so hard to accomplish feeling good about themselves. To feel beautiful or sexy. It’s amazing! It’s also so wonderful seeing people getting so much support. It seems like everybody has a million people right behind them. It makes taking on a weight loss journey look like this cheesy movie where everything goes right for someone. That somebody just wakes up one day and looks comepletely different than the day before. One big happy story with a great ending.
However, that’s not really how it goes for some people. Some people work for months and get no progress at all. Some people starve themselves in hopes of seeing some kind of difference in the mirror. Some people feel like they’re doing absolutely EVERYTHING right and it’s still not good enough. Then some people actually do see progress, everyone else sees it, but it’s still stopping them from a dream.
I’ve recently just have a reality check, if you will. I have been working on my weight for months now, and I have definitely had some progress. I was feeling pretty good about how far I’ve come. However, it hasn’t been good enough…
I’m still too overweight to enlist.
It’s only by a couple pounds, but that’s not the point. I have been working so so hard. At the gym, before work and after. If I have time to workout, I take it. I’ve never been a skinny girl, ever. I have always had a body type that I didn’t want. But my weight has never gotten in the way of something before (other than becoming a super model). I became so discouraged. All of this hard work and it wasn’t enough. I was broken. I had to hold back tears as that sergeant was breaking the news to me. He told me that I am going to have to work even harder this next week.
Harder..? How can I possibly work harder? Realistically, I know it’s possible. But I have another voice in my head telling me I’m worthless and can’t accomplish anything important.
And I know that I’m not the only one who has gone through something like this. Maybe not even with weight, but with anything in life that makes us feel like we can’t accomplish something or what we’re doing isn’t good enough. Somebody else reading this needs to hear what I have to say next.
Don’t give up. I know how cliche that is, but it’s solid. I know how hard it is to keep having faith in yourself over and over again. But God gives us trials that he knows we can make it through. He shows us that we can accomplish anything. You can overcome whatever it is holding you back. I WILL lose those pounds by Wednesday. I WILL see joy on my recruiter’s face when he sees that I made it. YOU WILL make it. YOU WILL beat this. YOU WILL surprise yourself. YOU WILL make yourself proud. Because that’s what matters. How you feel about yourself. Self acceptance is key.
And I know this seems sort of hypocritical, since I haven’t been showing any kind of self acceptance lately. But I am determined to change that. I want to continue to inspire people. You can inspire. Just believe.